It’s been six months since I give an update on my weight loss journey and I’m sorry to say I slipped way more than I thought I would. After devoting nine long months to the program I went off the rails. My life hit some major roadblocks and my depression took over, which made me eat more than I should have. I had done so good with loosing 48 pounds during the nine months I was devoted to the program, but now I have put 15 pounds back on, which takes me way away from my goal of loosing 75 pounds when I started the program. I am so mad at myself and to be honest I feel like a failure. I was so proud of myself six months ago and now I don’t even want to admit how I feel about myself.
This past year created a lot of turmoil for everybody when COVID-19 put us all on lockdown, but I kept up with the program until around September/October and that’s when it finally started affecting me in a negative way. I know what I need to do to get back on track, but finding the willpower to do that is easier said than done and anyone who has gone through a weight loss journey would be the first to agree with that statement, I believe.
I have all the best intentions in the world, but when you do this journey alone and without support it really takes a lot to stay on track. As soon as I didn’t have to be accountable to the clinic I quit tracking my food intake, eventually quit drinking my protein and started eating all the things I knew I shouldn’t be eating.
I’m not one to make New Years resolutions, but I am making a goal for 2021 to get back on track and at least get back to my 48 pounds lost.
In this photo from October 2020 I still look way better than before I started this program and you can’t really tell the pounds that I put back on.
The pic below was added a few days after I made this post to add what I currently look like. I know that I am capable of getting back on track and I will, but I know in order to succeed I have to do it because I want to for me and not to please others.
Here I am at the end of the last month of my nine month program asking myself how did I make it? The answer…lots of will power and strength. I’ll be honest when I started I had no idea if I would make it to the end or not, but here I am and happy to say I lost 48 pounds and I have been able to maintain the weightloss for several weeks. I will admit I did not reach my goal, but I have far surpassed what I really thought I was capable of doing.
For the next three months I will stay on my supplements and continue on the lipo shots once a week and continue my walking and try my best to increase my exercise and fight to maintain what I have done so as not to sink back into that person I was nine months ago.
The picture below is from July 2019 – February 2020 – July 2020. I can see such a difference in my face. I tried to find the original pics I took of my body, but cannot locate at the time of this posting. If I find them I will add them later.
As of Tuesday, April 28th I began my final round of HCG shots. I am still getting two lipo shots per week as well. For the next six weeks I will take a shot first thing each morning. In addition, my calorie intake will drop to around 500-600 calories. My goal on this last round is the loose at least 20 pounds. Once the shots end, then I will go through six weeks of maintenance before the entire program is over. At the end I will be measured to see how many inches I have lost since the beginning.
I had done some measuring myself along the way and was surprised to see that I had lost 4.5 inches in my boobs, 6.5 inches in my waist and 3 inches in my hips. My beginning measurements went back to March 2019 when I was at my heaviest. No wonder I needed new clothes last month. Even though the weight loss is not where I would like it to be I still have to look at the positives and seeing the inches fall off is definitely a positive and something I am very proud of myself for accomplishing.
My final weigh in and measuring will not be until July, but with the way time is flying by, it won’t be long before that day comes. In the meantime, I will strive to do the best I can to stay on track for the next 6 weeks during HCG and then stay strong for the final six weeks so I can get the most bang for my buck as this program is not cheap.
It’s hard to believe I’ve been doing this program for 21 weeks now. I am proud of my accomplishments thus far and look forward to reaching more goals as I continue my program through July. I am now in a 6 week maintenance phase of my second round and it is getting harder and harder to stay on track. For the last two weeks I have been working from home due to the COVID-19 virus and most everything in our town is shut down. Being at home makes it easy to get off track, plus I’m not getting my usual walks and stair climbing that I was doing each day. I have tried to start walking around the neighborhood, but it’s not very appealing and I have to force myself to go out. I have eaten more food that is not on my “approved” list than I should be and in doing so I beat myself up and want to give up. The thing that keeps me going is when I look in the mirror and see the difference that all my sacrifices have made.
Although I said I didn’t want to buy any new clothes until I had lost 50 pounds, there was no way to keep wearing what I had as I was starting to look like I was wearing bags every day as my clothes were literally falling off my rear-end. It makes me feel good about myself when I see the progress I have made and get to buy smaller clothes. I went through my closet and drawers and pulled out two bags of clothes to give to people in need.
As of my weigh in on the 30th, I am down a total of 33 pounds. Over the past two weeks I haven’t lost but 1 pound, but I know this is due to me eating stuff I’m not supposed to be eating and not getting the recommended foods I’m supposed to have. I have to get back on track or I will never reach my goal.
Please pray that I will have strength and stamina to get through this phase and continue to loose weight.
Time for another update. I’ve been doing this now for 4 full months. The first 12-week round was not that bad. It only took a few days to get use to giving myself daily shots, which only lasted for 6 out of the 12 weeks. During the last 6 weeks of the first round I got to add additional food items each week, which was great, and I maintained all the weight loss that I had the first 6 weeks. I was very proud of myself for not falling back into old habits.
On the 1st of this month, I started back on the HCG shots that I must do every day for 6 weeks. The first two days I was in what they call upload mode where I was able to eat whatever I wanted. This was where I splurged by getting Chinese and Dairy Queen. The good part about doing that was when I went to my weigh in that Monday after starting this on the weekend, I had only gained 1.6 pounds, but by the next week I had lost 3.8 pounds, so I didn’t do too much damage. The bad part was trying to get back into less and less eating as you are very restricted when taking the shots.
I’ll be honest, the first couple weeks were a real struggle. I didn’t want to give up the delicious nuts I had been eating, but after seeing only a 0.8-pound change in one week to the next I knew I had to give them up as they were causing me to stall.
By the last check in for the month I had lost 6.2 pounds in the month of February. Not where I really want to be in this process, but better than no weight loss at all. My total weight loss to date is: 27.2 pounds.
I’m trying to stay positive, but it’s hard as I don’t see myself loosing as much in the second round as I did in the first and that is really getting me down. I’m not giving up. I just need to fight harder. I feel better than I’ve felt in a long time and I know I can do this. The sacrifices I am making will be worth it when I reach my goal. It might take me longer than anticipated, but I’m not giving up.
The picture below is of me in July 2019 verses me in February 2020. I can see the difference in the shape of my face and it further shows me that I am doing this. My clothes all look sloppy, but I don’t want to buy new ones until I’ve lost at least 50 pounds. Luckily, I know how to sew, so I think I’ll just alter the clothes I have in order to make them work for me now and then reward myself with something new when I reach one of my goals.
I have two more weeks of HCG shots and six weeks of maintenance before starting a third round. Once I get through round 3, I will have to figure out how to maintain my weight loss on my own as I cannot continue to do these rounds. Pray that I will have the strength and will power to keep going as the struggle to give in is more real on some days than others.